Creative chaos, orderly arrangements, or everything in between, we embrace all forms of building our perfume wardrobes. Today, Lauren offers her thoughts on perfume collecting and the power of scent.
If you haven’t heard of Marie Kondo by now, you haven’t been reading much on the internet. Marie is a best-selling author from Japan, an organizational expert and consultant who helps clients tidy up their homes. She advocates de-cluttering to an extreme, advising readers and clients alike to get rid of any object that does not “spark joy.” No over-thinking, re-sorting, or feeling guilty. Either an object sparks joy for you or it does not; and if it does not, it doesn’t deserve a place in your home.
As a neat freak, I devoured the book and relished applying her process to my entire collection of earthly belongings.
Except my perfume collection.
It sits on a rickety platform stand in my bedroom, 3 small shelves completely covered bottles, boxes, and vials with which I have never considered parting. It’s unstable and easy to knock, several bottles often falling in subsequent domino-style if I don’t replace a piece perfectly, or if a puppy lollops by a table leg with a bit too much enthusiasm. My modest collection houses antique finds from my grandmother’s house (modern-day regulatory nightmares); Chanel print marketing from the 80s; a bottle of Anais Anais from 1993; mass and niche bottles I’ve purchased for myself in the last 20 years. As a fragrance evaluator and self-proclaimed perfume-o-phile, how could this collection not spark joy?
Except that, ever since I moved a year ago, it doesn’t. What it sparks instead is a deep, self-inflicted guilt for failing to have taken better care of my beloved collection. I did try: I wrapped each bottle myself in bubble paper, ensuring everything remained upright and taped each box lovingly closed. I loaded the boxes into my own car, instead of entrusting them to the movers. But the problem was, I moved from a sweltering southern city in July to an even hotter city further south. In the moving chaos, I might have left the boxes in the garage for an hour, if that… or perhaps they got too hot in the trunk on my 5-hour drive, sun beating down and altering the chemistry of their accords, as my foot pressed down on the gas pedal, altering the thread of my own life story. I don’t really know what caused the dramatic changes, but when I finally reached my destination and unpacked my perfumes, I realized with dismay that most of them had gone off. My perfumes were ruined, my heart was broken, and I felt like it was my fault.
I pretended nothing was different and arranged my collection just as before. But if I actually wanted to spray one of my perfumes, I could only gape at them, paralyzed with despair. My collection stood like a crumbling lighthouse surrounded by the clean ocean of my de-cluttered apartment; an ancient relic gathering dust and sparking no joy whatsoever.
Until, that is, I recalled a moment with my mentor from my evaluation training. I was learning individual raw materials and he’d given us a creative project. Several materials reminded me specifically of my mother in early childhood, so I drew inspiration from those memories of kindness and childhood innocence to blend a fragrance for my mother. I created a list of 12-15 different ingredients and timidly shared it with my mentor. He eyed me strangely and asked me what perfume my mother wore. “Anais Anais,” I replied. He nodded knowingly, and said, “That’s what your formula looks like. This is going to smell very similar to that perfume.”
Now, this is not to imply that I’m some perfumery whiz – not at all – but to illustrate how powerful the connection can be between memory and scent, even 20 years later. My bottle of Anais Anais may have gone bad, but I had already proven to myself that the memory was still very much alive inside of me. I could keep the bottle as a visual reminder, but did I need the scent to remain unchanged for it to spark joy? If scent is so closely linked to memory, as we know – the olfactory bulb is situated right beside the memory-processing region of the brain – it begs the question: which is really more important, the fragrance itself, or the memory of it?
I realized that a fragrance is not always waiting to be unlocked from a bottle. It can be locked deep within you, and sparked into life at a moment’s notice, depending on how you choose to see the world. A bottle of perfume that has gone “off” doesn’t need to leak disappointment, because you can easily uncap the memory that lives inside of you. The fragrance and your memory of it have become one.
I am preparing for another move, and donating as much as possible…but so far my perfume collection remains untouched. If I can look at it with new eyes, I may realize that time and change don’t have to snuff the spark. Forget diamonds…fragrance is forever.
Photography by Bois de Jasmin
55 Comments
Cornelia Blimber: Lovely story, with smiles and tears.
You are absolutely right, I would not sell my perfumes for diamonds. Only my cat is more precious. May 15, 2015 at 8:03am
Michaela: Right. For me, my dog 🙂 May 15, 2015 at 8:30am
Lauren: Cornelia and Michaela, thank you! For me my dog as well. 🙂 May 16, 2015 at 8:18am
Michaela: Oh, but you were a perfume wizard as a student, to create Anais-Anais – like perfume, out of memory and imagination!
Sorry for your perfumes and your sorrow. But the story is beautiful, indeed. Spark joy… good to remember! May 15, 2015 at 8:35am
Michaela: Witch not wizard, sorry. I meant genius, OK? 🙂 May 15, 2015 at 8:37am
Lauren: Michaela, thank you…I guess those ingredients “sparked” my mother! In my mind, at least 🙂 May 16, 2015 at 8:19am
Sajini: Beautiful. Thank you. I did some of the Marie Kondo process, but also came to a screeching halt with my perfumes. I think I just sold one bottle on eBay (the one that sparked guilt. Blind bought sale item. Still paid too much and didn’t love it.) May 15, 2015 at 9:19am
Lauren: Sajini, interesting that you mention objects sparking guilt…I experienced quite a bit of that! So how do you feel now after having sold it? (Maybe it’s in someone else’s treasure chest!) Better, I hope! May 16, 2015 at 8:20am
Phyllis Iervello: Lauren, what a lovely post. I must say that my dresser and bureau, although crammed with bottles and bottles of perfumes, give me joy every time I am in my bedroom. May 15, 2015 at 9:25am
Lauren: Thank you, Phyllis! As far as perfumes go, I’d have to agree with you. 🙂 May 20, 2015 at 7:54am
The Scented Salon: Perfume is a living thing, isn’t it? It is a genie trapped in its bottle, swirling with color. But as soon as he is released in the spraying, the true nuances of the experience of smelling a scent composed of various ingredients can be felt.
Your scents may have been ruined but there are still uses for the collection. Perhaps it can remind you that life itself is not forever. Perhaps it can be a mini-museum to your previous life, or even just a collection of beautiful objects which inspire memories.
There is no fixing a whole collection of perfume that has gone off. But there are lessons there. May 15, 2015 at 9:35am
Lauren: You’re right! I never thought of perfume in this way before, as a “living thing,” but you’re absolutely right. They are like cherry blossoms that bloom and die…but you know that more will come again. 🙂 I wonder what the total number of new launches is per year now, maybe 1,000? Haha. May 16, 2015 at 8:22am
Marsi: Why not release the worst of them and enjoy the fun of starting over? May 15, 2015 at 10:24am
Lauren: Marsi, I definitely like the idea of “starting over” as in buying more perfumes! I tried to slow down with my purchases and truly enjoy a bottle before moving on to the next one, but maybe I should buy a new one to mark the current or next chapter of my life. May 16, 2015 at 8:23am
limegreen: How well you captured how many of us feel about scent and memory, thank you for sharing your story, though losing one’s perfume to heat is a painful one. (Ouch, had no idea it could happen that quickly in a space of a hot day in a car. Makes me wonder about past samples I’ve received that sat in a hot mailbox and didn’t smell great — thought it was the perfume!)
It’s awe-inspiring that you created perfume inspired by your mother! I have no such ambitions to create a perfume but I do look for fragrances that remind me of the flowers she loved, especially osmanthus.
Re: spark of joy — just reading and *talking* about perfume, does not have to be the object itself. May 15, 2015 at 10:24am
Lauren: Limegreen, I’m sure some of the perfumes had aged past perfect condition before I actually moved, but heat certainly speeds up or emphasizes the process. Maybe in my next life, I’ll have a small refrigerator meant for perfume storage. And it will be mobile. May 16, 2015 at 8:27am
Ann: I confess, even the idea of reading Marie Kondo makes me uncomfortable. Our home is typical of immigrants and Jews… memories are precious even if they do not always spark joy, so we gently pack some away, others are within reach, and the rest are displayed where we can see them every day to remind us of who we were, who we are, and who we aspire to be. Case in point–photos of my son when he was very sick for several years are tucked away in albums wrapped in tissue paper… a bumper sticker (that I refuse to put on my car) sits on my window sill near my desk declaring, “Proud Parent of an Edna Brewer Student of the Month,” and in the hall is clutter of my son’s Challengers Little League baseball equipment–which he is finally healthy enough to start…. Spark Joy? Naw. Touchstones of who we are? Definitely.
Your story reminded me also of smelling my Coco Chanel on a friend and it smelled so different than it does on me… I thought. After careful wrist to wrist comparisons and some straight talk with my nose, I realized that my memory of how it smelled was from 1995 when my husband, then boyfriend, gave me my first bottle on Valentine’s Day. .. I was just super-imposing my scent memory on the scent… it was close enough I guess. And I’ll go on wearing it and remembering Valentine’s Day 1995, reformulations be damned. May 15, 2015 at 12:25pm
Ann: P.S. I LOVED LOVED LOVED your essay, which made me think and made me smile. It definitely sparked joy! May 15, 2015 at 12:27pm
Lauren: Ann, Marie’s book is certainly not for everyone, but helpful when people feel overwhelmed by their belongings and WANT to get rid of things! Thank you for your comments…it also reminds me of the importance of WORDS and the sentimental value of story-telling! As stories can be passed down through generations, just as belongings can… May 16, 2015 at 8:30am
Victoria: I had a similar comment forming in my mind when I first started seeing the discussions of Kondo’s work, but Lauren’s post really inspired me to pick up the book. I finished it in a couple of hours, and I really enjoyed it. Basically, she would say that anything that speaks to you, that touches your heart has to stay around. Of course, not everyone feels overwhelmed by their belongings and wants to pare anything down, but her approach is smart, sensitive and quirky. I can see how it can really be helpful. May 19, 2015 at 1:07pm
Lauren: 🙂 quirky is the PERFECT word to describe her voice. I’m glad you enjoyed it. May 20, 2015 at 8:10am
Emma: I always took this think positive mentality with a grain of salt. I’ve been in the US for 25 years, it feels like I’ve always heard this kind of things. You’re feeling down today, it’s ok, look at the blue sky, or the sky is gray, it’ll be blue tomorrow…
I threw out stuff I immensely regretted later, just because it didn’t spark joy at that moment. When it comes to perfumes, I noticed a lot perfumistas go through phases, I certainly do.
Sometimes I need modern niche stuff, then I quickly get bored with it and I need to enjoy rich heady classics with marvelous ingredients and power sillage, preferably in their vintage original formula. Then I’m on to the next thing again… It costs a lot of money to be perfumed obsessed, my two cents, don’t throw our anything! May 15, 2015 at 3:26pm
Lauren: Emma, I can relate to your comments, especially where cosmetics are concerned. I regularly discard or give away products I no longer use and temporarily feel happy with the decluttered bathroom…but disappointed on the days I want my counter to feel like a display at Sephora. Sometimes I want to pretend that I’m selecting from a vast array of products in a store when I’m in my own bathroom, and I can’t do this if I’ve just gotten rid of all my options! So I like to apply this grain of salt only to certain categories of things in my home. 🙂 May 16, 2015 at 8:34am
Andy: Like others above, I too find myself far less enchanted by Marie Kondo’s ideas for decluttering than some of her readers are, and I’m fairly well-organized at that. I’m simply not sure why a possession should have to bring joy in order to justify its being kept. This sort of rule seems arbitrary at best, though if I had a copy of Kondo’s book, I suppose I might ditch it for the express reason that it brought me no joy! 🙂
Anyway, I enjoyed reading about your collection, cringed at the thought of all those precious perfumes turning, and then smiled to think that my collection too will always live eternal within me–no matter what gets discontinued, lost, ruined, or reformulated beyond recognition. May 15, 2015 at 4:00pm
Lauren: Andy, I’m glad it made you smile. 🙂 Your comment made me smile too – Marie advocates ditching her book as well, if it doesn’t bring the reader joy! May 16, 2015 at 8:35am
Carla: I wouldn’t focus too much on the “spark joy”. It’s like an exaggeration to make a point. I did more like what someone else said and discarded what sparked guilt or a “meh” or an “I don’t want this in my house/life”. Kondo’s wisdom was elsewhere for me: the idea of getting it all done now and then getting on with your real life, the vertical storage idea, the idea that keeping something you don’t like reduces value of what you do like, the idea that you got your money’s worth and now it’s costing you to keep things. And above all discard discard now guilt, then organize May 16, 2015 at 8:22pm
Victoria: Andy, I totally recommend you to read the book. I was as skeptical as you, but I really loved it. May 21, 2015 at 11:07am
Aurora: I think your collection o,f alas, spoiled bottles has earned a special place into your home and life if only for inspiring you with this lovely article.
It’s all fine and dandy this theory from the organizational expert but we wouldn’t experience joy fully without sorrow as its counterpart, or harmony without dissonance. May 15, 2015 at 4:00pm
Lauren: Aurora, I loved your comment; thank you!! It’s ironic that you mention this concept of duality (which to me is very Japanese, and Asian in general) since Marie is Japanese. I wonder what she’d say about this!! My guess is that she would say the sorrow and dissonance can all be found outside your home, so why not make your surroundings beautiful, as the respite and counterpart to it all… but the Japanese certainly appreciate “wabi sabi” (beauty in imperfection) as well! May 16, 2015 at 8:41am
Merlin: How disappointing after you put SO much effort into preserving them 🙁 I definitely think that guilt (of any kind) is entirely unwarranted. I would never ever have thought that one day, or even just some hours, in a hot environment would spoil perfume.
I can understand each bottle still being precious to you – each has its own story of when you acquired it, and the periods over which you most wore it.
As for perfume, however, I think its a green light to start a new, more informed and mature collection! May 15, 2015 at 4:12pm
Merlin: Perhaps you could put in a high shelf so that the boxes and bottles are visible, but not in such easy reach. In this way they could become ornamental, signs of a treasured past, (as you have indicated) rather than being an intrusive obstacle that reawakens disappointment. May 15, 2015 at 4:22pm
Lauren: Excellent idea! Thank you. I will definitely do this when I move. May 16, 2015 at 8:42am
Lauren: LOL Merlin, thank you for saying the guilt is unwarranted. I think you’re right, on a logical level, I’m pretty hard on myself. 😉 May 16, 2015 at 8:42am
Joy: What a story! I still think that it would be rewarding to have the bottles with the perfume to look at. I know when I look at bottles on E-Bay, I can tell the fragrance has gone bad by the color of the liquid, but still someone is selling it, and people are buying it possibly for reminiscing.
It is so true about fragrance,(smell), being tied to memory. I was applying 31 Rue Cambon from a decant. I was suddenly transported to the sink room in my college, freshman dorm. It was almost an out of body experience. The fragrance was so similar to something that I wore than. I could see the oak of the door, the worn porcelain of the sink. I had not thought of that room in decades. Later, I thought all the work that Chanel did for 31 Rue Cambon, and it had been done before. I was on a tight budget in college, so whatever perfume I wore could not have been expensive.
I am already somewhat of a neatnik, at least in most of my home. my husband and I also downsized last year, so now there is even less clutter. I keep my full bottles on a couple of shelves and my samples and decants in a drawer sorted into an acrylic drawer divider. I keep my decants in the little, fancy boxes in which they are sent. May 15, 2015 at 8:40pm
Lauren: Joy, isn’t it awesome how perfume can transport you in time like that?? I really enjoyed reading the details of where the perfume took you – even if it’s as mundane as a sink, I can tell you truly felt like you were right back there, and the level of detail you can recall thanks to scent is amazing. So powerful. I have noticed something over the years as an evaluator, and it may be just a coincidence, but I believe that as my olfactive skills get stronger and stronger, ALL memories and connections become stronger for me. I’ve started to notice that certain sounds or even landscapes can immediately bring up old emotions, almost as if I’m reliving them. Maybe fragrances can boost memory ties to ALL of the senses. May 16, 2015 at 8:46am
spe: Kondo provides a structured, guilt-free system for de-cluttering; I quite enjoy it. Despite your perfumes going off, if they still provide an olfactory reference, they may be worth keeping from a practical standpoint based on your reference to your work (olfactory evaluator).
If I’m honest with myself, there have been a few scents that give me a spark: Fleur de Chene (feels like home), Lyric Man (takes me back to living in Scottsdale), and Vent Vert (some primal reason I can’t explain).
It sounds like Anais Anais has this effect for you. I really like l’originale. Are there other scents in that category that you especially enjoy? For me l’air du temp falls into the same category.
Thank you for the lovely post! May 16, 2015 at 9:45am
Lauren: Loulou by Cacharel has a similar effect for me. My mother wore this one, too – or at least, she had the bottle, and the bottle fascinated me. She doesn’t remember wearing it, but I distinctly remember the blue and red bottle in her bathroom! May 20, 2015 at 7:58am
Tiffanie: Anais Anais is so distinctive and lovely, I miss having a bottle, but I know if I bought a new one, it would not appeal to me as it did decades ago. I would rather cherish the memory of what it was. Thank you for the reminder of that glorious scent!
If I had a large collection of bottles I can no longer wear, I would most likely just keep the jewels that make me happy when I look at them or hold them plus save a few more for reasons of sentimentality, information/comparison, or rarity. It is ok to hold on to treasures, but it is good to let them go if they cause heartache. Don’t keep them “just because.” I would send them on their way with gratitude for what they meant before. They are now part of the past.
My very small and not very old collection of perfume bottles and fragrance samples is number 14 on my list of “komono” categories to be sorted, discarded, and stored. #konmarimethod 🙂
An interesting look at why we keep things even when we don’t know if we want or need them any longer:
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/05/an-economist-reads-marie-kondo/392921/ May 16, 2015 at 5:07pm
Lauren: Thank you, Tiffanie! Fascinating article. May 20, 2015 at 7:59am
Carla: I Kondo’ed our home top to bottom over the first three weeks of March. Life-changing may not be an exaggeration. I did not discard a single perfume bottle or sample though. There are four bottles on my dresser and the rest are organized – but not over-organized – in easily accessible pretty large boxes. Marie Kondo is a wise woman. Every other declutter book just doesn’t cut it. May 16, 2015 at 8:08pm
Lauren: Carla, I totally agree with you, and value not being “over-organized” as well. Lol. 🙂 May 20, 2015 at 8:01am
Austenfan: I must come clean, I had never heard of Marie Kondo. I loved your article and feel very sorry for the loss of your perfumes. Such a pity when something so valued gets lost in translation. May 17, 2015 at 11:37am
Lauren: Thank you, Austenfan. I must admit, I’m feeling much better about it since writing this post. May 20, 2015 at 8:01am
Michelle: There are a lot of things you need in life that don’t spark joy, and lots of things that just are your life. We’ve got a ton of CDs and books, my husband has guitars and amps, I’ve got a ridiculous amount of perfume, and my son could open a shop with Lego. My parents were polar opposites, my Dad was an engineer and kept enough stuff to make pretty much anything, my Mum is a neat freak and sadly when I moved her into a retirement flat last year I had to let most of my Dad’s stuff go. It felt like a betrayal, but I have my own life clutter. My Mum’s flat is like a spiritual vacuum. It feels like it’s got no heart, and I’d say that nothing sparks joy for her since my Dad died, but if I’m honest I think joy has never sparked much for her at all. Between the heart and the mind lie many things, all self expression and knowing who we are. I don’t think I could ever trust someone else to tell me in a book how to live and organise my life, but having a tidy up is good. When I meet people in Zen paper free offices, with no pictures up of their family and nothing on the desk I just feel the void. May 17, 2015 at 3:50pm
Hannah: I’m one of those people, and some people just don’t need to see pictures of people to remember and care about them? Whenever this topic comes up here, I think many of comments seem judgmental and paint minimalists as boring. Well, I very rarely get bored–even if I’m in a room with nothing and by myself. May 17, 2015 at 9:32pm
Victoria: Some people just have a rich inner world and they don’t need to display everything.
Then, there is a cultural aspect too. I remember being amazed at the lavish interiors in Spain and parts of the Middle East hidden behind the most unappealing, plain facades.
After reading this thread, out of curiosity I picked up Kondo’s book, and I think that she does have some very sensible techniques for those who want to declutter. But I also don’t think that she has one prescription for everyone. I might use her approach to pare down my perfume samples. May 18, 2015 at 2:02am
spe: I am an “empty room” fan! Always have been. My best feelings happen when I’m in an empty room, freshly cleaned, and void of anyone’s personal stamp. It’s the reason I despise having to buy furniture…. May 21, 2015 at 8:28am
Lauren: Michelle, certainly everybody has their own level of how much “stuff” they are comfortable with, or not. I seem to fluctuate and go through phases. The void you feel in one location may seem very peaceful or soothing to somebody else. May 20, 2015 at 8:05am
Nora Szekely: Dear Lauren, Victoria and fellow perfume lovers,
It’s a very interesting topic. I’m a bit of a hoarder (though I fancy calling myself a collector) with 500+ books and 50+ bottles of perfume. I’m also collecting notebooks and though I’m writing prose, poetry and diary that I prefer to do with handwriting, I know I’m buying much more of these that I will ever fill with my writings.
On other areas I part more easily with unused items, I d not cling to clothing that much with the exception of a few items with real emotional value. And indeed, if an object bring me joy, I will not discard it even if it’s not useful anymore.
Lauren I’m really sorry for your loss. I can fully feel how much a shock it must be. I hope that in time, you can build another wonderful perfume collection and keep the turned ones as long as you feel like it.
I think it would do me good to bring balance to my life and re-evaluate my possessions. I feel I never will be a zen-like person but from this article and the comments I got an idea: I will reorganize my bedroom with much less things lying around to create a more calming space for resting. However I’ll leave my living room as it is, I keep my books and perfume bottles there, proudly on display, and whenever I’m sitting on my sofa and glance up, it give me joy to see my favourite things around me. May 19, 2015 at 10:41am
Lauren: Nora, I like that idea! I use a similar system and let different rooms provide completely different atmospheres. May 20, 2015 at 8:06am
Natalie: I went to a perfume show at a few years ago and they had all types of perfumes from a variety of time periods displayed in glass cases. It looked so great and it was fascinating to see all the beautiful and interesting bottles, without even smelling one of them. You may want to invest in a glass front case or cabinet with shelves, which need not cost a lot, to keep your perfumes safe yet still on display in a place of honor in your home. May 19, 2015 at 1:06pm
Lauren: Natalie, thanks for sharing; that is a great idea!! May 20, 2015 at 8:07am
Gil: What a touching article. I have never considered that the memory of a perfume is stronger than the perfume itself, but you are definitely onto something here. Just last night I briefly passed someone in the mall and caught a whiff of their cologne – D&G Light Blue pour Homme. It brought me back to the first bottle of perfume my dad bought for me, the first one I reviewed for my blog, and all the happy memories that it represents. I haven’t had a bottle of the juice in nearly two years, but after reading this I realize I don’t need to own it to savour the memories – a stranger in a busy store is all it takes. May 19, 2015 at 2:14pm
Lauren: Gil, yes! And therein lies the beauty of scent. It can cross decades and help you time travel. Thank you for sharing. May 20, 2015 at 8:08am
carole macleod: I loved this. I have been toting around a bag of Caron extracts for years. I love knowing I have it, and it reminds me of my interactions with Diane Haska, who is such a special person. But if I don’t wear them there is the chance they will go off, or get lost, or fail to be used. This article gives me an excuse to wear them. Perfume is a living art. I have respect for people who are well groomed, and take care of their appearance. It isn’t always easy , but it’s always appreciated.
When we were getting ready for the ISO audit I learned to look at things differently: to not be afraid of change, to look at thongs objectively, and then look again. As we cleaned our work premises I felt better and better. The essentials were all there, reflected in business practices and good record keeping, and in customer satisfaction. But we didn’t need to keep actual bottles of stuff (in this case, old oil). Sounds like you were able to achieve the same thing-you kept your memories, which is the most important part. Try to remember the joy of your collection, and not hold onto the destruction of some of the collection. Altho I have to admit my heart totally goes out to you In sympathy-that sounds like a difficult experience, for sure. June 17, 2015 at 6:50pm